Top 5

Things Australians used to be good at

Mike Pollitt | Tuesday 7 December, 2010 11:18

But aren’t anymore. Inspired by ooooooh nothing in particular that happned in Adelaide last evening GET IN THERE LADS!!

Cricket

Snipe doesn’t want to jump the gun, put the cart before the horse or take any hostages to fortune, but considering the number of nights we spent in our childhood snuggled under a duvet listening to our countrymen getting right royally shafted down under, some pre-emptive crowing at this point doesn’t seem wholly disproportionate. Then again, it’s the hope that kills you. Come on boys. Steady now.

Soaps

There was a time when Neighbours was, hands down, the best drama series playing on British television. Round about the turn of the Millennium, when the Scullys were in full flight and the before the Kennedys had run out of steam, it was completely unmissible. Was it just chance that this period coincided with the greatest cricket team the world has ever seen? Or was this simply a Golden Age in Australian cultural history? Discuss.

Beer adverts

Castlemaine XXXX adverts were superb, witty little numbers which ironically played on Australian national stereotypes and made you really want a pint. Compare with the tripe currently advertising Fosters, which has infinitely higher production values, and infinitely less charm.

Pop

Kylie, Jason, Dannii, Delta even…Australia used to fill our charts with wholesome nonsense. Occasionally very sexy nonsense. But the fact that Kylie and Dannii are still the biggest names around tells you all you need to know about youth development at the moment. Just as the cricket team has stuggled to replace Warne and McGrath, so the pop industry has failed to replace the Minogues. What’s happened? And has Cilmi really got what it takes? Fingers crossed.

Wise old owls

Where is the new Dame Edna? Where the young Clive James? In the 80s and 90s Brits relied on a wise and sarky uncle or aunt from Australia to puncture our pretensions and bring us back down to size with a wry quip and a glint in their eye. We love you Australia, don’t desert us now.

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