Wrong Again: Beauty tips for the morning after
I don’t have a lot of time to rap to you this week because I’m trying to make a quick and quiet getaway as we speak. But since we’re on the subject let’s talk.
Okay, wheeops, you drank too many white Russians or whatever last night and bing bong! You’re in a strange room and you’re late for work. Get it together. Let’s go.
First the basics.
- Don’t sleep over. That eliminates all of the guerilla grooming and the early morning panic. But if you do …
- Do not leave anything behind. Ooof this one is very important. Stop playing games. You want to go on an endless Facebook quest tomorrow so you can get your cheap earrings back or do you want to relax in bed with an Nurofen smoothie and internet? Thought so. Conduct a Predator-style scan of the premises before you leave. Always. Ladies, check your shit. Anything you forgot is now sacrificial debris.
- No Teddy Pendergrass? No cognac? Then it’s not making love. And that’s okay. That was what it was people, relax, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re alive! You’re young!
Okay awesome. Now the practicals.
Amil’s D.I.Y. beauty tips:
- What CAN’T a moist towelette do?
- Hats are the new hair.
- Did you know you can wear lipstick on your mouth and cheeks AND eyes? I don’t know if that’s true but you can try.
- What if you turn that shirt inside out? Does it look less slutty now? Very good!
- Cigarettes hide lots of smells.
- Always wear a coat!
Whatever. BYE!
03 Dec 2010
The Megaphonic Thrift
The idea of originality in music is a strange one. Everything sits somewhere on the family tree of previous sounds, and the idea of true originality is long since moot. The Megaphonic Thrift don’t even bother to try and sound original, shamelessly pillaging the back catalogues of great alt-rock and shoegaze bands like Sonic Youth and My Bloody Valentine, and generally sounding like a fan-made collage as a result. To some people this is anathema; but I’m not massively fussed, if the songs are good. Some very good bands are blatant copyists. One of the best rock ‘n’ roll albums of this millennium is comprised of covers – a homage to early funk and soul icons. The reproduction of Sonic Youth’s signature sound on display here, complete with male-female vocal interplay and intertwining guitar lines, is an interesting act in itself.
03 Dec 2010
Best of the week's Top 5s
This week Snipe admired the leaf rustling and purple sunrise in this video. We also paid our respects to a great actor, revisited some blizzardy London tales, and rounded up a few prezzie ideas for the bookish, in these ice cold Top 5s.
Like a midget at a urinal…
Freeze, Thames, freeze
Dear Santa, I love to read
03 Dec 2010
Patterns
Good proper old-fashioned paper ‘zine Pull Yourself Together have started a label. Their first release is a fantastic offering from Patterns – four beautiful, undulating ambient pop songs. The “New Noise” EP will be released as a free download or ltd. CD on December 13th.
03 Dec 2010
London agenda for Friday 3 December
1. Lose your commercialism at The Jailhouse Jam [Le Cool]
2. Flip through Sketchbook’s magazine’s Design Overtime [Run Riot]
3. Pop your synth with Gary Numan and former Ultravox vocalist John Foxx at the Troxy [Spoonfed]
And tomorrow
5. Celebrate 10 Years of The Chap magazine at The Grand Anarcho Dandyist Ball [Qype]
03 Dec 2010
Put the kettle on: City Hall would like protests to be a thing of the past
When protestors smashed their way into the Conservative Party headquarters in Central London last month the Police quickly admitted that they had been caught off guard.
02 Dec 2010
Jellied Eels: News from around the boroughs
ONE In a ‘major victory for a free press’, new government restrictions on taxpayer-funded tabloids have claimed its first scalp. The Telegraph reports that Hammersmith & Fulham’s fortnightly has been confirmed as the first council press to be kitty littered in the neutering against ‘town hall pravdas’. According to the Guardian, H&F News tried to tie in with a commercial partner to get around the changes but the department closed all loopholes. In other boroughs, Greenwich Time didn’t point to its last hour, whilst Tower Hamlets’ East End Life will become a smaller incarnation but is likely to be the least of council’s concerns.
TWO Tower Hamlets confirmed reports by the Evening Standard that one of its councilors was arrested and under police investigation. A key supporter of newly-elected Mayor Lutfur Rahman, Cllr Shelina Aktar had previously been charged with fraud but asserted innocence to the East London Advertiser on fresh suggestions she illegally let her housing association property. Deflecting from the ruckus of his election and exponents, Rahman has pushed on with borough business. According to the Londonist, he will fight 2012 Olympic organisers about a re-routed marathon that now leaves the borough without a single event.
THREE As the Comprehensive Spending Review permeates, councils are continuing to pal up. Bromley and Lewisham are synching their technology services, whilst Merton, Sutton and Kingston are baby-stepping towards a shared services agreement. According to the Surrey Comet, the talks beginning in June have now ruled out a shared executive, protecting up to £215,546 for Merton’s Ged Curran. Going it alone, Barnet will be introducing a new service model, said to save £100m in the coming decade. This follows news that huge cuts will be taken from voluntary and community sector budgets, with Greenwich reducing theirs by up to forty per cent, and thousands of job cuts across all local authorities.
FOUR ??The Guardia??n reports that Newham was forced to defend government funding this month, following questions over the projects funded by a £1.3m grant to prevent violent extremism. When pressed, the council said it promoted anti-intolerance messages through a football tournament and commemoration, amongst other events.
FIVE Equally touchy is the clamp down on strip clubs following new authorities granted. According to the BBC, ten London councils are reviewing their policies, whilst eight are proposing no new licenses in a bid to end ‘endless sleaze swamping [the] community’.
02 Dec 2010
Unsocial net: Here’s a resolution for 2011—talk to people in person
This may be my favourite news story of the year, and it is a perfect object lesson as we approach the end of 2010. According to the New York Times (22 Nov, 2010) there has been a setback in Afghanistan: NATO and Afghan leaders spent “a lot of money” bribing Taliban second-in-command Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour to join negotiations.
02 Dec 2010
Goodbye Capital Radio: London’s original radio station sheds its hometown image
Think it’s a bit early for your new year resolutions? London’s best-known radio station has already made its promise for 2011—to outgrow the Big Smoke, and to end 37 years of being solely associated with London.
02 Dec 2010
How to be a man: If you don’t think this column is funny, obviously you do not know how to take a joke
A disease has infected contemporary culture in the last 15 years. Few educated British males (and it’s overwhelmingly males) between 20 and 30 have escaped. The symptoms are easily discerned: a discussion begins between two sufferers. The subject matter is wholly innocuous. All seems safe. Then, out of blue and at lighting speed, there erupts into the conversation an Alan Partridge quote, or one from David Brent.
02 Dec 2010
Snipe Highlights
Some popular articles from past years
- Punk brewery just as sexist and homophobic as the industry they rail against
- Margaret Thatcher statue rejected by public
- Silencing the Brick Lane curry touts could be fatal for the city's self-esteem
- A unique collection of photos of Edwardian Londoners
- Summer Camp: Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days
- Number of people using Thames cable car plunges
- The best church names in London, and where they come from
- Random Interview: Eileen Conn, co-ordinator of Peckham Vision
- Nice Interactive timeline lets you follow Londoners' historic fight against racism
- Could red kites be London's next big nature success story?
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