The Agony of Danny Dyer: who cares about the torrent of trivial content?
It should be self-evident that the endless column and screen inches unspooling into the eather of Western capitalist culture are nothing more than the fleeting fancies of a bunch of ill-paid, dubiously motivated hacks. We, the people, should realise the media is nothing more than a megaphone, amplifying the ideas (or idiocies) of whatever fool, knave or prince happens to wield it. Yet somehow the act of publication invests words with disproportionate importance. The babbling blog torrents and freshets of DIY media serve to dilute, a little, the impact of print.
Nevertheless, newspapers and magazines are still the voice with which British society carries on its conversations.
15 May 2010
Never Mind The Boris: Mayor of London is more of a centrist than he lets on
When Boris Johnson was elected as Mayor of London, the Conservatives saw it as the beginning of a new blue dawn. From the top floor of City Hall, Boris would shine out as a sign of just what the party could do when it gained power.
Yet when dawn broke after the election, the scene was nothing like what he may have expected.
In local authorities across the city Labour had been swept back to power. In Brent, Camden, Ealing, Enfield, Harrow, Hounslow, Islington, Southwark and Waltham Forest Councils, voters turned out to hand control back to the Labour party.
In every borough but one Labour regained seats, reducing Conservative and Lib Dem majorities and pushing councils into no overall control.
15 May 2010
Savage Love
I’m a mostly gay male with a boyfriend who is also mostly gay. We are into BDSM—we are both tops and sometimes play with other sub men. I say we are “mostly” gay because we do like to fuck/top submissive women once in a while. We haven’t done this a lot, and never together because we don’t have the same taste in women—until recently. One of our new neighbors, a straight female, is very shy, but she’s opened up to us about her interest in BDSM. We took her to a play party, and she was okay watching others play, but any time anyone expressed an interest in her, she clammed up and withdrew. She stayed at our side the entire time.
We are interested in propositioning her. Our dilemma is in how to approach someone so gun-shy. We want to seduce her into the experience and not make her uncomfortable, but we can’t agree as to how to go about it. Another issue is that we think the reason she has been so open with us is because she assumes we are both 100 per cent gay.
Two Guys And A Girl Toy
She meets two guys who live together, have presumably noisy BDSM sex with each other and other men, and identify themselves as gay. I’m sure you can appreciate why, under the circumstances, your neighbor might assume you two were gay, right? And that assumption convinced her it was safe to open up to you guys about her sexual interests—interests that are clearly scaring the shit out of her for the moment—because she further assumed, entirely reasonably, that you guys didn’t wanna stick your dicks in her.
The sooner you come clean, the likelier you are to get into her pants, mouth, ass, twat, etc. Do not attempt to be seductive. Putting the moves on her now could transform a minor and perhaps unwitting violation of her trust into a relationship-ending violation. Instead, just be, um, straight with her: “We should’ve said something sooner, [her name here], but we’re both actually bi, and we thought you should know that. And we also wanted you to know that we’re both attracted to you and, hey, if you want to explore any of this stuff that you’re curious about with us, we’d be up for that. If not, we’re happy to keep being your kinky, gay-identified, completely platonic buddies.”
I read with interest the letter from the guy who hacked his ex-girlfriend’s e-mail and discovered that she had been cheating on him. I am in a similar situation, if a little more messed-up. I am a single, thirtysomething female who has been having a long-term affair with a married man. We have one rule: We tell one another if and when we fool around with other people. About a year ago, I discovered another affair he was involved in while he was out of the country, which he failed to disclose to me. I discovered it because he left his e-mail unattended. He was not apologetic, and I ended up being the one who begged for forgiveness for invading his privacy. He did, however, promise to end his relationship with the woman overseas. I recently discovered that he has struck up a fresh correspondence with this same woman. I gained this knowledge by invading his privacy again—this time by outright hacking his e-mail—but he also betrayed me, and he needs to be held accountable.
You are probably wondering why I am not just cutting this guy out of my life. We have amazing sex and enjoy the same kinks. It is difficult to find someone trustworthy to engage in these activities with. But how can I trust anything he says anymore? I really want to call him on this. He broke our rules. Do you think I am out of line in confronting him?
Mistress Is Pissed
According to the “Mistress, whining about being cheated on” listing in the Association of American Advice Columnists’ Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Staggeringly Self-Serving Bullshit, I’m supposed to slap the shit out of you, MIP. The DSM instructs me to respond to letters like yours with something like this: “Your lover is cheating on his wife with you, you dumb piece of shit, and you’re shocked to learn that he’s cheating on you, too?” That strikes me as a little harsh. So I’ll go with this instead: You can’t expect a guy to take your rules more seriously than he takes his vows.
As for confronting him: The last time you confronted him about another other-woman, MIP, you wound up begging for his forgiveness. So let’s skip the confrontation and accept reality: Unless you’re willing to walk away from the amazing sex, unless you’re willing to dump the motherfucker, he’s going to go on cheating on you and lying to you about it, rules or no rules. He won’t disclose when he’s messing around with other other-women, MIP, because it’s not just the sex that turns him on. Sneaking around, getting away with it, deceiving you and his wife and his other other-women—all of that gives him a feeling of power and control, and those feelings are as, or more, important to him than the orgasms. Accept it or get out.
I have a question and don’t know who else to ask: I need support under my scrotum in order to ejaculate. I am 52 years old, and this condition has gotten worse as I have gotten older. When I am having intercourse, I need a position that supports or raises my scrotum, and when I masturbate, I need to put something under it. Is this okay? Is there a solution to make coming during intercourse easier?
This Old Scrote
Before I touch on your sack, TOS, I’d like to briefly—very briefly— touch on George Rekers’s.
Rekers is a towering figure in the religious right in America. He’s the co-founder of the Family Research Council; a member of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, a group that claims it can cure homosexuality; and the go-to guy for “expert” testimony about how gay people threaten and endanger children. And last week, Rekers got busted coming back from a 10-day European vacation with a 20-year-old male escort he found on Rentboy.com. Rekers told two reporters from the Miami New Times that he “can’t lift luggage,” so what other choice did he have but to hire a 20-year-old with an eight-inch cock?
To mark the downfall of yet another crazy and hypocritical closet case, I propose that “whatever floats your boat” be immediately permanently retired in favor of “whatever lifts your luggage.” This will be George “Rentboy” Rekers’s legacy, his lexi-colonic gift to the English language. Help spread the meme.
Back to you, TOS: First, talk about this with a doc—get your sack examined and your prostate checked. If there’s nothing medically wrong, rest assured there’s nothing wrong. Some guys have large, loose sacks and sensitive balls, and the slap, slap, slap of intercourse or masturbation can be uncomfortable, and lifting your luggage spares you the slap, slap, slap. Alternately, TOS, let’s not forget that your dick, balls, sack, and taint compose one big erogenous zone. Lifting your luggage may provide you with a little bit of extra ball/sack/taint stimulation, added stimulation that helps put you over the top, and naturally you rely on that zap more at 52 than you did at 32. So instead of viewing your need for a ball lift as a problem that needs solving, why not view ball support as the solution to a problem. Or to put it another way…
Whatever lifts your luggage, TOS, whatever lifts your luggage.
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
15 May 2010
Snipe Highlights
Some popular articles from past years
- Peter Bayley has worked for 50 years as a cinema projectionist in East Finchley
- Only 16 commuters touch in to Emirates Air Line, figures reveal
- Nice map of London's fruit trees shows you where to pick free food
- Random Interview: Eileen Conn, co-ordinator of Peckham Vision
- The five best places in London to have an epiphany
- London has chosen its mayor, but why can’t it choose its own media?
- Nice Interactive timeline lets you follow Londoners' historic fight against racism
- Hope and despair in Woolwich town centre
- Punk brewery just as sexist and homophobic as the industry they rail against
- The best church names in London, and where they come from
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