Top 5

Ranking the best looking men from last night's El Clasico

Mike Pollitt | Thursday 28 April, 2011 10:25

What an ugly game of football that was. Here, by way of compensation, are the best looking men from the night in ascending order of my mancrush on them.

5. Sergio Ramos

Sure, he’s a little feminine for some tastes. But along with Fernando Torres he made girly hair and delicate bone structure a part of top level football, and for that promotion of diversity he deserves only praise.

4. Xabi Alonso

Any man who looks like Arrested Development hero Jason Bateman is alright with me.

3. Pep Guardiola

José Mourinho may have the brooding petulance of a young Marlon Brando, but Guardiola has the twinkling poise of an old Robert Redford.

2. Gerard Piqué

I’d like to think Shakira got with Gerard because she appreciates his astute positioning and assured distribution. I suspect it might have more to do with his jawline. She’s so shallow.

1. Iker Casillas

If any man could tempt me into bi-curiousness, it’s Iker Casillas. The neat hair; the eyebrows, dark yet not too dark; the jaw, not chiselled so much as lovingly sandpapered into perfect form. And above all, the hands. Imagine those hands, strong and manly, plucking you from the air like a Jabulani and cradling you to his broad chest. Save me, Iker. Save me!

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