The Metropolis

Annoying habits of Londoners #4: Dancing along to their own headphones

Mike Pollitt | Friday 2 March, 2012 14:59

The most disagreeable contention in China Miéville’s NYT article about London is surely this:

“Tinny music raises disproportionate ire. Travelers shift and glare as 14-year-olds give themselves soundtracks, as if they’re boxers. Not all, but a fair few of the older passengers look wrathful.”

The ire invoked by tinny music is, in fact, entirely proportionate to the provocation involved. But that’s not the worst of it. Tinny music is an unfortunate but established fact of public transportation. It can be prepared for. It’s the devil we know.

Much more sinister is the tinny music’s cousin. The tinny gesture. The aborted half-movement of pretended dance. It invades physical space just as perniciously as tinny music invades the airwaves.

I’ve seen microphone miming, word-mouthing, foot-tapping and hip-shakes. I’ve seen air-drumming, air-guitar, air-trumpet and air-jazz-flute. The worst gestures are the half-secret little flinches – the dancing wrists behind the pages of the Metro, drawing attention to themselves by trying to hide.

All of it draws the eye just as tinny music fills the ear. Like an insistent beat, it cannot be ignored.

If I get on the bus or tube I know my ears are going to be besieged with unwanted sound. I’ve made my peace with that. But my eyes, spare my eyes I beg you. Turn up your music, if you must, but sit on your hands. Just give me one sense not filled with this interminable clutter. Is that really so much for me to ask?

See also:
Annoying habits #3 – Holding the door open
Annoying habits #2 – Being annoyed when strangers gawp at you
Annoying habits #1 – Applauding at the cinema
Best and worst of the New York Times Magazine’s London special

Follow Mike
Twitter: @MikPollitt
Email: michael.pollitt@snipelondon.com

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