Scorpions and ninja turtles: five surprising revelations from the BBC's Unnatural History of London

Last night the BBC screened a documentary about nature in London. Here are some of the things it taught us:

1. Here be scorpions

A colony of European yellow-tailed scorpions (Euscorpius flavicaudis) have lived at Sheerness in Kent since 1860, but the documentary suggests that these cuddly little fellas can now be seen down by London’s docks. They are 2 inches long, nocturnal, ambush predators who eat spiders and woodlice. And relax – their sting, while venomous, is reckoned no worse than a wasp’s.

2. Hedgehogs like coffee

Hedgehogs are an animal in trouble (stop using slug pellets, people!). They are also caffeine fiends. I didn’t know they liked the syrupy remains of coffee at the bottom of discarded cups. Some hedgehogs have shoved their snout too far inside the cup, got trapped, and died. That’s how much they want the delicious golden nectar, and it’s a feeling we can all relate to I am sure.

3. There’s a reason you never see a baby pigeon

Well you don’t, do you? They remain in their nests tucked away in the sides and tops of office blocks until they are fully grown. Also of note: pigeons breed all year round, which helps to explain their success. The pigeon part of the film was rubbish though. “Pigeons in Kensington are posher than those in Peckham” oh shut up.

4. Cute little duckings get eaten by Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles

The ponds and waterways of London are apparently full of terrapins, many of which can be traced back to the Turtle craze of the early nineties. In a case of life imitating art (yes, ART), some young terrapins escaped from their owners and set up home for themselves. And terrapins eat ducklings. Is it not a wonder, how even the most innocent childhood craze can have consequences which could never be foreseen?

5. Remember your geography

I thought the script a little clunky, a little “this is London’s wildlife as you’ve NEVER seen it before.” But there was one nice line at the start, which helped contextualise what we’ve changed about the landscape, and what we haven’t.

“Despite all the changes, London is still a handful of gently rolling hills that fall away to a flood plain…with a river running through it.”

It’s a modern city, but that description remains accurate. And that’s something to be glad about.

Watch the full episode on iPlayer here (available until 25/06/12).
Extra info and short clips here

See also:
Five lessons for London from Clapton Park’s verdant ‘poppy’ estate
Interviewed: @FaBPeregrines on the wild hunters stalking the city skies
Forget the scaremongering, here’s some practical advice for dealing with urban foxes
Five great London journeys into the sunset

Nunca by Trails and Ways

Trails and Ways are one of our new favourite bands here at Snipe. The California four-piece have just dropped a video for recent single Nunca, inspired by a trip to Sao Paolo. Download the track below and head to their Bandcamp for more free goodies.

Read "the worst poet ever" William McGonagall's terrible poem about London

Over 100 years after his death, Scottish poet William Topaz McGonagall (1825-1902) is still revered across the world by connoisseurs of bad poetry. His Wikipedia profile puts it like this:

“He won notoriety as an extremely bad poet who exhibited no recognition of or concern for his peers’ opinions of his work.”

The McGonagall Online website says:

“William Topaz McGonagall, poet and tragedian of Dundee, has been widely hailed as the writer of the worst poetry in the English language. A self-educated hand loom weaver from Dundee, he discovered his discordant muse in 1877 and embarked upon a 25 year career as a working poet, delighting and appalling audiences across Scotland and beyond. His audiences threw rotten fish at him, the authorities banned his performances, and he died a pauper over a century ago.”

He is most famous for his extraordinary poem to mark the Tay Bridge rail disaster of 1879. It begins:

“Beautiful railway bridge of the silv’ry Tay
Alas! I am very sorry to say
That ninety lives have been taken away
On the last sabbath day of 1879
Which shall be remembered for a very long time.”

You can read the whole of that wonderful poem here.

What I didn’t know is that McGonagall came to London, in 1880, to make his fortune as a poet. While here he wrote the following poem, which I think really captures the essence of the metropolis:

Descriptive Jottings of London.

As I stood upon London Bridge and viewed the mighty throng
Of thousands of people in cabs and ‘busses rapidly whirling along,
All furiously driving to and fro,
Up one street and down another as quick as they could go:

Then I was struck with the discordant sound of human voices there,
Which seemed to me like wild geese cackling in the air:
And the river Thames is a most beautiful sight,
To see the steamers sailing upon it by day and by night.

And the Tower of London is most gloomy to behold,
And the crown of England lies there, begemmed with precious stones and gold;
King Henry the Sixth was murdered there by the Duke of Glo’ster,
And when he killed him with his sword he called him an impostor.

St. Paul’s Cathedral is the finest building that ever I did see;
There’s nothing can surpass it in the city of Dundee,
Because it’s most magnificent to behold
With its beautiful dome and spire glittering like gold.

And as for Nelson’s Monument that stands in Trafalgar Square,
It is a most stately monument I most solemnly declare,
And towering defiantly very high,
Which arrests strangers’ attention while passing by.

Then there’s two beautiful water-fountains spouting up very high,
Where the weary travellers can drink when he feels dry;
And at the foot of the monument there’s three bronze lions in grand array,
Enough to make the stranger’s heart throb with dismay.

Then there’s Mr Spurgeon, a great preacher, which no one dare gainsay
I went to hear him preach on the Sabbath-day.
And he made my heart feel light and gay
When I heard him preach and pray.

And the Tabernacle was crowded from ceiling to floor,
And many were standing outside the door;
He is an eloquent preacher, I solemnly declare,
And I was struck with admiration as I on him did stare.

Then there’s Petticoat Lane I venture to say,
It’s a wonderful place on the Sabbath day;
There wearing apparel can be bought to suit the young or old
For the ready cash- silver, coppers, or gold.

Oh! mighty city of London! you are wonderful to see,
And thy beauties no doubt fill the tourist’s heart with glee;
But during my short stay, and while wandering there,
Mr Spurgeon was the only man I heard speaking proper English I do declare.

I think the man’s genius speaks for itself.

See also:

Five classic poetry readings, available free online
The most annoying bits of bad English on London’s tube network
Five grammatical rules technology is destroying
Five filthy, dirty, obscenely sexual poems from the past

Follow Mike
Twitter: @MikPollitt
Email: michael.pollitt@snipelondon.com

London agenda for Tuesday 19 June 2012

1. Do some of that voodoo that you draw so well [Le Cool]

2. Get arrested by the Syrian Secret Police after 66 Minutes in Damascus [Run Riot]

3. Listen to a delicious slice of pop by Mara Carlyle [Flavorpill]

4. Listen to some doom soul by Cold Specks at Hoxton Hall [Don’t Panic]

5. Find the most nearly perfect example of the unique English invention and speciality – the Garden Suburb [Ian Visits]

6. Find Temple Stairs Arch [Tired of London]

Story Books Unveil Peregrine Video

Medway indie-rock six-piece Story Books have unveiled a lyrical and beguiling video for their signature tune, “Peregrine”.

The track is released digitally on Monday then on 7” this July 9th, the same day as a headline show at The Lexington.

Before that, they take to the big stage on Thursday (21st June) at Koko, opening for Bloc Party.

Exhibition heads up: The Gaddafi Archives

Over a thousand photographs of photographs which tell the story of Colonel Gaddafi’s Libya will go on show on Thursday as part of the London Festival of Photography (full list of events here, map of venues here).

From the organisers:

“Pictures and documents from state intelligence buildings and destroyed Gaddafi residences that were found by Human Rights Watch’s emergencies director Peter Bouckaert, and recorded and photographed at the sites, will be presented…Rare images of the period when Libya was effectively closed to the West from the mid-70’s until the revolution depict social chaos, the era of the Green Book, torture and military misadventure and Gaddafi’s strategic foreign trips to eastern Europe and the Middle East”.

So, a chance to indulge in some Gaddafi fashion lols and learn something about an interesting place.

It’s at the Warburg Institute near Russell Square, from 21-29 June. Tickets £7.50. Full details here

Images published by permission of London Festival of Photography. This post was corrected soon after publication to remove gross inconsistencies in the spelling of Colonel Gaddafi’s name.

When Saints Go Machine - Mannequin

Here’s a pretty cool H.R. Giger-style video for the new When Saints Go Machine song “Mannequin”, taken from their forthcoming second album.

Boris Johnson's desire for "supreme power" isn't the story. His desire for a new airport is

“We have to have a new airport. One of the only reasons I want to assume supreme power in England is to make sure that happens…For God’s sake, don’t quote me saying that.”

Occasional London Mayor Boris Johnson spoke to New York Magazine as part of his book tour of the US. The quote above has produced the following reactions:

Daniel Knowles at the Telegraph – Boris Johnson: ‘I want to assume supreme power’
Guido Fawkes – Boris: “I Want to Assume Supreme Power”
Sunny Hundal at Liberal Conspiracy – Boris Johnson: ‘I want supreme power in England’

Mayor Johnson saying he wants “supreme power” is what’s called a “colourful” quote. I get it. People like colourful quotes. But it doesn’t mean anything. It’s not important. It’s a joke!

Sunny Hundal at Liberal Conspiracy at least gestures to the important bit:

“But more seriously, it’s worrying that he is still obsessed with such a foolhardy plan as the Estuary airport.”

Yes. That is more serious. Whether or not London needs more air capacity, and if so where it might be built, is important. Mayor Johnson’s lively phrase-making is not.

1230 UPDATE: Lo and behold, from the Standard – Boris Johnson has given his support to plans to build a second runway at Stansted Airport

See also
Boris’s new airport plans dubbed ‘ridiculous’ by Kent Tories
Pigs have as much chance of landing in the Thames estuary as planes. So what’s going on?
Does London need another airport?

London agenda for Monday 18 June 2012

1. Listen to an appealing take on Moroder-style disco and techno-lite with Azari & III at the 100 Club [Le Cool]

2. Watch some ingenious puppetry with choreography by ‘Crow’ at Borough Hall [Run Riot]

3. Hear comedian Josie Long’s preview for her Edinburgh show at the BAC [Don’t Panic]

4. Catch Syphilis at the Court of Charles II [Ian Visits]

5. See Paolozzi’s Newton at the British Library [Tired of London]

The Beardy Durfs - Lunch Box

Well well well. It’s been a while since anything has got our blood pumping and heckles raised with deafening, scuzzy, screwed-up, in-the-red rock ‘n’ roll. With the 80’s Matchbox B-Line Disaster, Hunches and Immortal Lee County Killers all split, nobody (bar fellow Danes Powersolo, perhaps) has really been picking up the slack.

Until now. The Beardy Durfs are a two piece from the exploding Copenhagen rock ‘n’ roll scene who attack your inner ear with fizz, distortion and thrashing racket going off like bangers around the battered melody coiled somewhere in it’s core. Hear both side of the single and one extra track here and buy the 7” here.