Annoying habits of Londoners #1: Applauding at the cinema

I saw The Artist the other day. It was excellent, highly recommend, must see etc etc.

The rest of the audience thought so too, because as the credits rolled they burst into spontaneous applause.

This I cannot stomach. Who were they clapping? Not the director, whose vision they had so enjoyed. Not the actors, whose talents made it real. Not the sound men, or the key grip, the editor or the best boys. None of these people were in the cinema to receive the applause.

The only people the audience could conceivably be applauding were themselves. They were clapping their own good taste in going to see a film they so much enjoyed. The noise I heard was the sound of a hundred self-satisfied slaps on the back. Cease, cinema goers, from this odious practice. You’ll receive a standing ovation (metaphorical), from me, in return.

Follow Mike
Twitter: @MikPollitt
Email: michael.pollitt@snipelondon.com

Electric car? Electric can't

Green Party AM Darren Johnson has a piece at Left Foot Forward forensically dissecting Mayor Johnson’s electric car policy announcements, and the lack of substantive progress to match them. Sample quote:

A £1 million fund has featured in numerous media reports in October 2009 and again in December 2010…Not only is the £1 million the same money in 2009 and 2010, but it hasn’t actually been budgeted or spent yet. [his emphasis]

It’s a fine critique of a media mayor.

Darren Johnson AM @ Left Foot Forward – Boris’s electric vehicle boasts are an inverted pyramid of piffle

Ealing wallaby decapitation: Police blame fox or foxes unknown

The Met police have closed their investigation into the brutal murders of three wallabies in Ealing last year. They say the crime was probably committed by foxes, although other avian and mammalian suspects have not been ruled out.

“After extensive enquiries, no criminal matters have been disclosed and no arrests have been made…Our enquires have concluded that the deaths were most likely to have been caused by animal behaviour, for example foxes.”

One wallaby, Bruce, was found headless in October at Brent Lodge Animal Park in Hanwell. His two replacements were killed the following month. Humans were initially suspected, but the police appear to be ruling us out. Which leaves the foxes.

Whether a lone serial killer is still on the loose, or the deaths were the work of a gang of foxes with a particular prejudice against wallabies, has never been established. By closing the file, the police appear to have resigned themselves to letting the guilty parties roam free.

Met Police Wallaby Inquiry Concludes
Daily Mail – Two more wallabies found dead at same animal park where third was beheaded last month
Ealing Times – Sickening death of Hanwell park wallaby: can you help find killer?
Snipe (this post actually supports our russet coloured friends) – Urban foxes are diabolical fiends that must be destroyed

Mayor Johnson's big fat incumbency boost

Ah, the joys of incumbency. @MOLpresents is promoting summer in the city with the above video. In it we see the London we all know and love – a city of stilt walkers, happy looking pedestrians and smiling men in vans. It’s quite uncanny.

Given that there’s a Mayoral election in May, it’s worth noting the image boost these promotions afford the incumbent. Who wouldn\t want to vote for a guy who’s arranging a citywide party this summer to which everyone’s invited?

I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with this. It’s not fair, it’s politics. But it underlines the inbuilt advantage Mayor Johnson has over his challengers as the race begins.

In the same vein, Diamond Geezer reports on a new TFL leaflet summarising recent service improvements which he feels oversteps the line:

“As I say, TfL have every right to crow about all the improvements they’re making on our behalf. But why release a convenient potted summary now, reminding us how great the last three years have been, and how many more great things are due in the first half of 2012? With TfL’s Chairman’s up for re-election at the ballot box in May, I have to say, this campaign smacks of using public money for covert electioneering.”

Diamond Geezer – Every journey matters
MOLpresents – website

Stupid Olympic hype watch: Government edition

“The cabinet is due to meet later at the London Olympics site, to mark 200 days until the start of the Games.”

Don’t worry everyone, there’s only 200 days of this mindless shite left before we can get on with the running and jumping. It’ll fly by.

BBC – Cabinet to meet at Olympic Games site

Why won't anyone make the case for fewer West End parking spaces?

The Standard reports on the ongoing Westminster parking saga. Long story short: they want to reduce the number of parking spaces and charge more for the ones that are left, and are going about it in a fairly skullduggerous manner.

Says Mayor Johnson: “This is a deeply cynical move and an appalling breach of faith. Small businesses, churchgoers, actors, and thousands of decent Londoners rely on the West End for their livelihood and we all rely on them to maintain the economic vitality of our great city.”

Ken Livingstone: “Westminster council seems to have taken leave of its senses.”

Brian Paddick: “This is absolutely outrageous behaviour by Westminster council. They are quite clearly hell-bent on damaging the economy of the West End in order to raise money from motorists.”

Call me Mr Contrarian, but in the long run would it not be better for the city to have fewer people driving in to the West End, having abandoned their cars in favour of public transport? Yes I know, fares are up. But the principle surely holds. It would be better for the environment, better for pedestrians, better for cyclists, better for the air…And yet no one will argue for it.

Livingstone and Johnson couldn’t, of course, because the headlines would be appalling. But Paddick could have flipped this issue round to push for a greener, more sustainable city centre without endorsing Westminster’s sneakery. But he didn’t, which disappoints.

Evening Standard – West End parking banned by stealth

London's cycling accidents have been mapped

Excellent work by The Telegraph. The map is so detailed that you can trace your route to work and see any accidents that happened along it, what time of day, what type of accident, and how severe. Very useful.

To no one’s surprise, except perhaps TFL on whose figures the map is based, Blackfriars Bridge features prominently.

The Telegraph – Graphic: London’s cycle accident black spots mapped

An awkward thought for liberals: maybe CCTV works

cctv

That means almost 7,000 TFL cameras were used in the prosecution of a crime. That’s a lot of prosecutions. The word “just” has no place in the above tweet.

I don’t like the idea of CCTV cameras. No, I’ll rephrase, I hate the idea of CCTV cameras.

But the evidence here, and from the aftermath of the riots, is that CCTV can help in the prosecution of crimes.

So if you want to make the case for a CCTV free city, and do it honestly, you have to accept that crimes might go unsolved as a result. It’s a tough sell.

Dow Chemical backs down over Olympic sponsorship

Ted Jeory has been all over this:

The US corporate giant said it was agreeing to the “vision” of the 2012 Games by waiving its sponsorship rights to place its brand on a controversial fabric wrap for the stadium.

Hardly. At the corporate level, the “vision” of the 2012 Olympics is to peddle a romanticised ideal of sporting contest in order to make vast sums of money. The Dow Chemical sponsored wrap around the stadium was this vision realised in textile form. The new wrap will not bear Dow’s logo, but the sponsorship deal remains and the Olympic rings will adorn their marketing. The old wrap was tasteless, but essentially honest. The new wrap is an inoffensive lie. You can call that progress, if you must.

Trial by Jeory – Dow agrees to removing logos from Olympic wrap

There's no such thing as a right to work

The Right to Work campaign is marching on Downing St.

They want to highlight the number of people unemployed (2.64 million on the figures just in, up 128,000 on last month). Fine and good.

Just one problem: there is no right to work. Sorry about that, but it doesn’t exist. How could it? It’s ludicrous.

Evening Standard – Right to Work demo near Downing St
Right to Work website
ONS – Labour Market Statistics, December 2011