The Metropolis

A possibly apocryphal story about the weirdest club in London

Mike Pollitt | Tuesday 31 May, 2011 11:40

A friend of a friend recently went out in West London, to a bar near the King’s Road. Having paid his entrance fee, and enjoyed some pleasant badinage with the bouncers, he moved upstairs to the bar. The second he stepped inside the door, a red laser spot appeared unerringly on his chest, as if he was being targeted by a crack sniper. Then a bouncer appeared from nowhere and made to grab him round the neck. But then he relent at the last moment as the red spot flicked from my friend’s chest to land on someone standing behind him. Upon looking up, my friend saw that this damn spot came from a laser pen wielded by a man behind the bar in lounge suit and tie, wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigar. It turns out that this man runs the bar, and that each night he uses the laser pen to signify to the bouncers which customers he wants removed from his sight. Upon selection, there is no right of appeal. The spot cannot be cleansed.

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