The Metropolis

Some things you notice when you catch the first tube of the day

Mike Pollitt | Thursday 22 September, 2011 12:37

The time is 5.35am, and London awakes. Markets are laid, pigeons peck at discarded kebabs, postmen…well actually postmen are probably still asleep. But some poor mugs set off to work. I am frequently one such mug. This is what I sleepwalk through.

End seats
Acquring a seat next to the plastic panel on the central line is always pleasant. At dawn, it’s essential. Get one and you can look forward to 20 minutes extra dozing. Miss out and you have to support your own neck the whole way. The challenge this poses to the half-asleep should not be underestimated. Occasionally, there will be no seats available at all. We do not talk about those days.

Mice
Mice abound in the early morning. Not the trackbound mice often visible during the day flitting between the rails. No, these mice are bold little blighters, rushing through the exits and passageways of the stations like commuters on a smaller scale. I strongly suspect that some of them are hopping on and off the escalators to broaden their territory, but evidence has thus far proved elusive. Marble Arch seems particularly rodent ridden.

Fuckheads
Catch the first tube on a Saturday and expect your fair share of “revellers” going home from the night before. In the whole city in the whole week, there can hardly be a starker juxtaposition than this. Wide-eyed libertines meet blurry-eyed workers. Blathering chat meets weary silence. Waking up meets coming down. Two worlds collide; there is nothing common here.

Silence
There seems to be an unspoken consensus that tinny headphone music before 6.00am just isn’t done. For this, may we be truly thankful.

No smiles
Tiredness is a great leveller. People going to Heathrow for a week in the sun look just as miserable as those going to Holborn for a day at the coalface. It’s really something. Cheer up, holiday makers, you chose to board this train of ghosts!

The most annoying habits on the tube at any time of day can be found here

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