The Metropolis

Wanted in London: a football pub for the connoisseur

Mike Pollitt | Wednesday 6 June, 2012 11:53

Where are the best pubs in London to watch Euro 2012? If you have any interest in drinking and football, you will probably have a personal list of acceptable venues which possess the minimum requirements of a.) having a screen and b.) selling beer.

This may be adequate. But is it really enough?

What if you’re really interested in football?

The sort of person who once completed a Panini stickers album.

The sort of person whose idea of scintillating conversation is attempting to name all the members of the 1993/4 Swindon Town Premier League squad.

The sort of person who owns a Seattle Sounders away kit for no good reason at all.

For you the traditional football pub, with flags in the window and beer on the floor, doesn’t quite do the job. A summary of limitations offensive to your refined sensibility might include:

• A limited selection of the coarser lagers
• Insufficient seating
• No audible match commentary, meaning your apposite punditry cannot be reinforced by official statistics. You also miss out on the thrill a talented commentator’s cadence can lend to a significant moment. (“It’s a great run by Michael Owen…and he might finish it off…OHHHHHHH he’s scored a WONderful goal!”)
• People cheering goals and behaving excitably, rather than cooly analysing the tactical context
• A generally loud atmosphere, precluding reasoned conversation in which you can show off your knowledge of Serie B

What would an ideal pub look like? Seating would be plentiful, the match commentary loud. Each table would be equipped with its own chalkboard so you could bore your companions with alternative tactical setups. Cerebral conversation would be encouraged at the expense of base passions such as excitement and joy.

If you know of such a pub, or a close approximation, please get in touch.

Suggestions to @mikpollitt, or leave them in the comments
Image by Ruth_W on Flickr under Creative Commons

---