London agenda for Thursday 2 December
1. French artist Dran takes to the chalkboard at I have chalks [Le Cool]
2. Old Master paintings altered, reworked or just defaced by today’s irreverent talent at Artswipe [Run Riot]
3. Be amazed by Gillian Wearing, Yinka Shonibare and Hussein Chalayan at Art Fashion Identity [Spoonfed]
4. Consider the Art of the Christmas Window at Fortnum & Mason [Tired of London]
5. Make it electronic with Black Dice & Growing [John Rogers]
02 Dec 2010
Movember: remember those who cannot grow
Movember is a sad time of year for me. And not because it’s the month for sombre reflection upon personal heroes struck down in their prime, or to generally acknowledge the finite nature of robust health. I wish I were that caring or philosophical.
No, it makes me sad because I cannot, for any reason, or in any substantive shape, shade or form, grow a respectable fucking mustache. As much as I love them, (and from the Chaplin/Hitler to the ape-hanger handlebar, from the Selleck to the Old-world Colonel, I do) I am unable to get anything better than a slight whisper of brown fuzz to populate my upper lip. If mustaches were troops, the space beneath my nose is Iceland – there’s an occasional wispy nod to the notion, but no standing army.
Movember is a worthwhile cause on many levels: first and foremost it promotes men’s health. Given that, statistically, most men are fat and lazy and getting fatter and lazier, this is a noble and timely cause to champion.
At the same time, Movember allows men of all ages, regardless of background, job, or marital status to assert a bit of individuality. That this ‘statement of individuality’ comes in the midst of so many other men asserting their own individuality means he won’t stand out so far that he risks solo embarrassment. Any embarrassment is a badge for the brotherhood.
Actually he will stand out – but rather than getting snickered at for being a douche or a hipster-douche, people passing in the street will look at him and think “Well, look at that guy, bravely cultivating a soup strainer on his face to raise awareness of prostate cancer and other pressing threats to men’s health, in spite of the potential mild awkwardness. He may be many things, but that guy sure isn’t a dick.”
From a fiscal responsibility standpoint, the annual November cultivation of some radical face furniture gives conservatively-dressed City workers license to do something crazy that doesn’t involve gambling away other people’s money, which may just have a knock-on effect of curbing the egregious mismanagement of others’ life-savings that has been the watchword of the (male-dominated) financial industry for years. Possibly.
Myself, on the other hand, for this Movember I again looked the unsupportive non-participant: just a regular jerk who thinks he’s too cool to pitch in and raise awareness of important issues that need to have awareness of them raised by sporting some horizontal face plumage. But the tragic truth is that I lack the capability. I’d love to participate, but I can’t. And believe me, I tried.
But even when I was trying to participate, growing my mo for nigh on a fortnight, I looked like a non-participant. It was as futile as farming the Gobi. So, like all things I loved, I had to let my mustache go.
Which means the total extent of my contributions to the Movember cause is this belated recommendation: go get your prostate checked.
01 Dec 2010
London agenda for Wednesday 1 December
1. Meet at Columbia Road Market, for their annual late night Wednesday openings [Le Cool]
2. Be violent and Eat your heart heart [Run Riot]
3. Pick the Best Coast at Scala [London Gigs]
4. Visualise an uncertain future at Is this thing on [Lauren Down]
5. Read books at the Westminster Reference Library [Tired of London]
01 Dec 2010
PJ Harvey
Pro-fox hunting West Country indie femme PJ Harvey has released a new track on her Soundcloud. Sounds like a demo. Seems to have some kind of reggae thing going on.
30 Nov 2010
London snow facts
Oh the weather outside is frightful. Except it’s not frightful, it’s great. Snipe refuses to become one of those grown ups who turns against snow just because it messes up their commute a bit. It’s snowing!! Yay! So, in a spirit of childish delight befitting the day, here are five snowy facts about London town.
Charles Dickens had a very snowy childhood
It says here (a wonderful repository of snowy facts) that six of Dickens’ first nine London Chritsmases were white. Amazing. Incidentally, doesn’t Christmas just look bizarre in the plural?
Sometimes, the Thames dost freezeth over
In 1864 the river froze for two solid months and the average temperature in January was -3. That’s the average. So what are you moaning about today you wusses? There were fairs on the frozen Thames and carriages were trotting along it like nobody’s business. It was a bit like a seasonal Crossrail, except a lot cheaper.
Snow is bad for trains
In 1891, it says here, a train left Paddington for Plymouth only to become stuck in snow before getting out of the capital. It didn’t reach its destination for four days. Snipe hopes the passengers didn’t lose their sense of wonder and stayed pro-snow, otherwise we’re very disappointed in them.
Snow killed a famous man acting foolishly
Francis Bacon (not the painter, the Elizabethan thinker), died in the following manner (quoting from a very well written piece here). ‘In the early spring of 1626, the Viscount made a journey through London snow. Wherupon an idea struck him – might it not be possible to preserve meat in the snowy cold? Plucking up handfuls of snow, Bacon marched into the house of a poor woman, from whom he received an item of poultry with which to conduct his researches. While we latter-day folk know this invention as the refrigerator, Bacon’s endeavours failed miserably. Firstly, he contracted pneumonia from all that trudging about in the name of science; then, in an attempt to cure his illness, he consumed the item of snow-stuffed poultry and collapsed (after three days in damp linen) of suffocation.’
Londoners like taking photos of snow
Check out about 2000 photos of the Feb 2009 Snow Day here. Then go forth, and make some cocks in the snow. Who knows, this may be your only chance this year, so don’t waste it grumbling.
30 Nov 2010
London agenda for Tuesday 30 November
1. Worship the icons of our ages from Pam Glew [Le Cool]
2. Love three films of Jeanne Moreau [Run Riot]
3. Umm. Is Jimmy Carr funny? Maybe. [Spoonfed]
30 Nov 2010
Leslie Nielsen tribute
Leslie Nielsen, star of some of the greatest films of the late 20th century, has died. His legacy is simple: that he made more people laugh harder, oftener, and for longer than anyone in his generation. Here are five YouTube videos celebrating some of his finest moments. May he rest in peace. God’s in for a hell of a giggle.
Tribute compilation
Airplane teaser: don’t call me Shirley
Police Squad: cover me!
The Naked Gun: the deleted scenes
The Naked Gun: another compilation
29 Nov 2010
London agenda for Monday 29 November
1. Watch Radio 4 comedian Jeremy Hardy take on the Israeli army [Le Cool]
2. Discuss the notion that religion functions in a similar way to a virus [Run Riot]
3. Hear Manolo Blahnik in Conversation with Colin McDowell [Lauren Down]
29 Nov 2010
Video of police charging students at demo on horses
Shot by student protestor ‘Massif101’, he writes this on the YouTube page
I wasn’t planning on uploading this, I assumed the BBC would mention it along with their coverage of all the other protests, they haven’t.These protesters are not those who were kettled outside the treasury building, we weren’t allowed in for that, after some kids had started fires and thrown some sticks n junk at the police lines separating us from the main protest they began to move forward.
This happened about an hour and a half after police started pushing us back, they had already deployed the cavalry 3 times, although those instances were less aggressive than this one.
The horse charge begins at about 1min, 10 seconds.
26 Nov 2010
Wrong Again: pets for the criminally negligent
Photo by Jerome Gotangco
So I had a dream last night that I had a pet dog AND a pet crab and they both spoke English and except for when the crab turned into a squirrel and started sucking the dog’s weiner it was a pretty great ride. But when I woke up I thought, ha ha brain, you crazy for that one! Imagine, me caring for not one, but TWO alive creatures. Sure.
Yes, pets sound like a good idea. Companionship and cute paws and YouTube videos, these are all things animals are amazing at, but forget it pal. Do you even remember how you got home last night? If you forget to feed a dog it dies. When cats are lonely they cry and pee on your stuff. Who needs it. Even fish (RIP Henry) need constant and tender care. So snap out of it.
But that doesn’t mean you have to be all alone. Here’s a great way to get used to taking care of something without being criminally responsible for the negligent death of another living thing.
Amil Niazi’s steps for pet success:
- You’ll need an empty fish bowl. It doesn’t matter how it came to be that way. :(
- Decorate the bowl, this isn’t a jail, it’s a home. I like to use marbles.
- Get a rock.
- Give the rock a face. It’s not a rock anymore, it’s a person!
- Put the rock in the bowl. He lives there now.
- Water the rock every couple of days. He’s thirsty.
- When you’re ready, add more rocks. Now you’re a family.
Be prepared to lose a few rocks, you’re just learning okay? Don’t be so hard on yourself.
26 Nov 2010
Snipe Highlights
Some popular articles from past years
- Random Interview: Eileen Conn, co-ordinator of Peckham Vision
- Punk brewery just as sexist and homophobic as the industry they rail against
- An interview with Desiree Akhavan
- Peter Bayley has worked for 50 years as a cinema projectionist in East Finchley
- Diary of the shy Londoner
- Could red kites be London's next big nature success story?
- 9 poems about London: one for each of your moods
- Margaret Thatcher statue rejected by public
- Hope and despair in Woolwich town centre
- The best church names in London, and where they come from
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