Wrong Again: pets for the criminally negligent
Photo by Jerome Gotangco
So I had a dream last night that I had a pet dog AND a pet crab and they both spoke English and except for when the crab turned into a squirrel and started sucking the dog’s weiner it was a pretty great ride. But when I woke up I thought, ha ha brain, you crazy for that one! Imagine, me caring for not one, but TWO alive creatures. Sure.
Yes, pets sound like a good idea. Companionship and cute paws and YouTube videos, these are all things animals are amazing at, but forget it pal. Do you even remember how you got home last night? If you forget to feed a dog it dies. When cats are lonely they cry and pee on your stuff. Who needs it. Even fish (RIP Henry) need constant and tender care. So snap out of it.
But that doesn’t mean you have to be all alone. Here’s a great way to get used to taking care of something without being criminally responsible for the negligent death of another living thing.
Amil Niazi’s steps for pet success:
- You’ll need an empty fish bowl. It doesn’t matter how it came to be that way. :(
- Decorate the bowl, this isn’t a jail, it’s a home. I like to use marbles.
- Get a rock.
- Give the rock a face. It’s not a rock anymore, it’s a person!
- Put the rock in the bowl. He lives there now.
- Water the rock every couple of days. He’s thirsty.
- When you’re ready, add more rocks. Now you’re a family.
Be prepared to lose a few rocks, you’re just learning okay? Don’t be so hard on yourself.
26 Nov 2010
Best of the week's Top 5s
This week Snipe started wearing its winter hat indoors. It’s 50% about warmth, 50% style. Just like this week’s Top 5s…
Liquid warmth
These books would look sexy on TV
Pubby warmth
Give your walls the London look
26 Nov 2010
Record of the Day Awards Winners 2010, and not one of them went to us
As they say, it was honour to be nominated. Which is what you say when you don’t win anything at all.
The big winner last night at the Generation Gallery was NME, demonstrating that there is some life in the old girl yet. Here’s the full list:
- Student writer (voted by a panel of journalists) – Kate Allen, Reading University
- Best Publication (voted by students) – Drowned in Sound
- Best Writer (voted by students) – Peter Robinson
- Best Blog – My Band’s Better Than Your Band
- Best PR Campaign for a Breakthrough Act – Tinie Tempah (Janet Choudry, EMI Artist Publicity)
- Live Reviews: Writer of the Year – Simon Price, The Independent on Sunday
- Best PR Campaign for an Established Act – Plan B (Ruth and Beth Drake, Toast Press)
- Record Reviews: Writer of the Year – Alexis Petridis, The Guardian
- Best Music Coverage in a Newspaper – The Guardian ‘Film & Music’
- Digital Publication of the Year – NME.com
- Best In-House PR Person – Janet Choudry, EMI Artist Publicity
- Best In-House PR Department – EMI Artist Publicity
- Best In-House Online PR – Stuart Freeman, EMI Artist Publicity
- Breaking Music: Writer of the Year – Peter Robinson, Popjustice
- Feature of the Year – Caitlin Moran for ‘Lady Gaga’ in The Times
- PR Reputation Management – Cheryl Cole (Sundraj Sreenivasan, Supersonic)
- Best Independent PR Person – Nikki Wright-McNeill, Global
- Best Independent PR Company – Dawbell
- Best Online PR Company – Anorak
- Best Reissue PR Campaign – Rolling Stones ‘Exile on Main St’ (Kate Etteridge, LD Communications)
- Editor of the Year – Krissi Murison, NME
- Magazine of the Year – NME
- Outstanding Contribution to Music Journalism Award- Charles Shaar Murray
- Outstanding Contribution to PR Award – Terri Hall
- Outstanding Contribution to Music Photography Award – Mick Rock
26 Nov 2010
London agenda for Friday 26 November
1. Club it in the Old Vic Tunnels with Badgers In The Bunker [Le Cool]
2. Catch the midnight showing of “Dario Argento’s ‘Demons’”:http://www.run-riot.com/film/midnight-movies-dario-argento-‘demons’-curzon-soho [Run Riot]
3. See Move: Choreographing You at the Hayward [Tired of London]
4. Must-see theatre at Black Watch [Spoonfed]
5. Hear Turner Prize winner Susan Philipsz speak [Lauren Down]
26 Nov 2010
New Venue Alert: The Flowerpot opens in Camden 3 December and it will be glorious
It was a sad day for London music last month when Kentish Town venue The Flowerpot closed after their lease was sold out from under them.
Unusual for a successful pub, the Flowerpot is run as a collective by the staff. Even more unusual, they had live music, good live music, every night. Unknown by London standards unusual: the gigs were free — they made their money, and the band’s fee, from the bar.
Minutes ago, Snipe learned that The Flowerpot will be taking over the Tommy Flynn’s space at 55 Camden High Street and opening next Friday, 3 December.
It’s a great space, and the staff have been renovating it for a week to Flowerpot standards. We look forward to it.
The Flowerpot
55 Camden High Street
NW1 7JH
gMap
25 Nov 2010
Best London-themed wall art
What could be worse than a bare, featureless wall? It’s a crime against decor. Here, Londonites, are five ways you can fill that gaping void above the couch.
Vintage transport posters
London Transport Museum sells reprints of vintage posters ranging from wartime propaganda through to the modern stuff warning you to check about the closure of the Jubilee Line. They’re so good Snipe has mentioned them before. Look at them. Now.
Minimalist film posters
These are great. Granted, there’s only one London themed one in the whole batch but Top 5s have been built on less than that before. The Titantic one is particularly fine.
Classic map prints
Maps on walls may be a student cliche, but don’t let that put you off. Conventionality sets you free, you’ll learn that when you’re older and you stop trying to be different all the time. Old London maps are especially great as they can be used to plan grisly murder trails.
Sherlock Holmes book poster
Snipe’s love for these posters, which use the text of the book to create an image from it, is everlasting and unconditional. Magnificent.
Contemporary London artists
If you hanker after the new, then why not go straight to the artists and designers creating work in this city right this second. The above is just one example out of many that has caught Snipe’s roving eye.
25 Nov 2010
Time Out sells 50% of the company to offshore conglomerate
Time Out, the 42 year-old tourist listings magazine has gone and sold 50 per cent of itself to Oakley Capital Investments. Oakley Capital is a Bermuda-based investment company, which trades on the AIM listings of the London Stock Exchange. Better hit your quarterly targets, guys!
Time Out’s publisher and founder, Tony Elliott, has been looking for an investor for several years now, having had to put £3 million of his own money to keep the company afloat in the past year. Time Out now has a weekly circulation of 58,275 copies.
25 Nov 2010
London agenda for Thursday 25 November
1. Get turned on in Bethnal Green with the Erotic Book Club [Le Cool]
2. Know the limits of liberal humanism at Anti-Humanist curating [Run Riot]
3. Cross the Atlantic with Twin Sister, Still Corners, Kotki Dwa at the Lex [London Gigs]
4. Stay at the Tune Hotel [Tired of London]
5. Take it with you in the weirdly sculpted coffins of Paa Joe [Spoonfed]
25 Nov 2010
Plantagenet 3 - Nocturne
A second MPfree today from London-based instrumentalists Plantagenet 3, who combine surf-inflected americana with Ennio Morricone’s dramatic atmospherics. Catch them live at the Buffalo Bar this Friday alongside Foxes, and see the video for “Theme From An Imaginary Western” below.
Plantagenet 3 – Nocturne by snipelondon
24 Nov 2010
Active Child - I'm In Your Church At Night
The wonderful Active Child has released a fantastical Guillermo Del Toro-style video for “I’m In Your Church at Night”. It’s great.
24 Nov 2010
Snipe Highlights
Some popular articles from past years
- Punk brewery just as sexist and homophobic as the industry they rail against
- Silencing the Brick Lane curry touts could be fatal for the city's self-esteem
- Nice Interactive timeline lets you follow Londoners' historic fight against racism
- Peter Bayley has worked for 50 years as a cinema projectionist in East Finchley
- Hope and despair in Woolwich town centre
- Number of people using Thames cable car plunges
- Nice map of London's fruit trees shows you where to pick free food
- Margaret Thatcher statue rejected by public
- An interview with Desiree Akhavan
- The five spookiest abandoned London hospitals
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