The Metropolis

How will Occupy London end? Some scenarios

Mike Pollitt | Wednesday 26 October, 2011 15:48

Let’s look at some hypotheticals, with reference to other global protests which are a few weeks further along in their development.

1. Violent conflict with the state

Last night, Occupy Oakland ended in tear gas and rubber bullets, courtesy of the city’s softly softly batter monkey over the head with a crowbar brand of policing.

2. Violent conflict with each other

Communists and anarchists leathered the crap out of each other in Athens last week. Whether what’s going on in Athens is strictly part of the Occupy movement is debatable – they’ve got a lot going on over there at the moment, but it’s fair to say they’re riffing on the same themes.

3. Sex

Occupy Wall St is one sexy place, apparently. Here’s protester Brandon Watts talking to the New York Times:

I drank six Four Lokos with Core, a beer or two. And then we ordered an iced mocha and two chicken fingers and large fries. I lost my virginity today. I was amped for it.

4. Divine retribution

Occupy London is famously starting to piss off St Pauls. When the Christian god gets mad, he does stuff. Note to protesters, tents don’t deal well with biblical deluges.

5. The government takes heed of the protesters’ concerns, and devises a substantive programme of reforms in order to engender a fairer society. Tired but happy, the protesters return to their daily lives knowing that they’ve really made a difference.

This hasn’t happened anywhere so far, but we’ll keep you posted.

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