The Metropolis

Meet Jet, Your 2011 Crufts Champion!

Chuck Ansbacher | Monday 14 March, 2011 12:13

Did they just award a dog a tablet computer for winning the most important dog title in the world? That’s the way the pictures are making it look, and I find such a prospect confusing. Or exciting? Are they making tablet computers for dogs now? Man, that would be great. Having a dog would take so much less energy! Because dogs — yes, they’re man’s best friend, but they’re also man’s most needy, energy draining income killers. Time to play, time to walk, time to eat, time to poop, time to eat my own poop, rub my belly, give me a bath, brush my teeth. It is a lot of work. And/or money.

But dog tablets could fully take about two thirds of those ungratifying activities right off your plate. In the same way taking road trips with kids finally became somewhat enjoyable ever since they got the head rests with the TVs in the back of them, you would finally be able to enjoy your life again while owning a dog. Just imagine if every time it wanted your hard earned attention you could just turn on the tablet and let the mutt bat a virtual ball app around for however long it wanted, which would be be forever, because dogs annoyingly never want to stop doing that shit. You could finally get that screenplay written.

Unfortunately, I think they just gave the dog a tablet computer for humans. Maybe it’s for the dog’s owner? Have fun trying to find the time to use it!

Anyways, Crufts. The winner was a named Sh Ch Vbos The Kentuckian, aka Jet, aka what? Read more here, and re-live Crufts 2011 here.

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