London now only region with fewer vehicles than households

London is now the only region with fewer vehicles than households, new figures reveal.

Car and van ownership has risen or stayed roughly the same in every part of England and Wales apart from London, according to census data out today.

This is particularly startling given that the rest of the South East is now the most car-saturated region in the country. London is the least.

The actual number of cars has also decreased despite a big population increase.

According to the Office for National Statistics

“The lower numbers of cars and vans in London may be related to factors such as high population densities and extensive public transport facilities.”

The decrease follows a decade of lobbying for infrastructure investment by Ken Livingstone, Boris Johnson and TfL.

A big increase in bus services under Livingstone and the continued investment in rail services under Johnson has helped London buck the national trend.

Despite huge increases in fares, car use remains in decline.

The Mayor should now take the initiative and abandon any future road-building initiatives for good.

Links: More graphs from Mike, Evening Standard campaign for the 2%

Watch 93 Feet East get raided by 175 cops, the Met helicopter, and dog units to arrest five people for possession

This video, supplied by the Met, proudly one supposes, shows the vast overkill that their ‘Operation Condor’ exerted on Brick Lane venue, 93 Feet East.

Intended as ‘a major capital-wide crackdown by the Metropolitan Police on crimes relating to licensing issues,’ all the officers, including the public order specialist branch, helicopter, and dogs arrested five people on suspicion of possessing Class A drugs, two people on suspicion of being concerned in the supply of drugs, one for being drunk and disorderly, and one for being the poor guy in control of the premises. The Met also arrested that one creature even worse than a single mum on the dole, an illegal immigrant.

Royal's nurse suicide provides opportunity

The House of Windsor contributes nothing to society. The royal family does not even unite the nation – far from it, in fact. The time has come not to abolish the monarchy but to reform it and give it real value

Scapegoating of the two Aussie DJs who prank called the hospital in which the future King, or Queen, was swimming in the fetal wading pool of its mother, the Duchess of Whatever, will continue unabated.

It is widely believed, but not yet confirmed, that Jacintha Saldanha, the nurse who first accepted, and then forwarded the prank call, killed herself.

Should that turn out to be the case, the Aussies, Mel Grieg and Michael Christian, are no more responsible for the nurse’s suicide than Ozzy was for the suicide of one of his teenaged fans back in the 80s.

While Ozzy was tried in a court of law, the Aussies will be tried by the media and on the Internet. Indeed, the trial has already begun and it ain’t looking good for the smart-assed prats from down under.

It beggars belief that Saldanha killed herself, if she did, solely because of the prank call. Could it be that she was subjected to unjustifiable abuse because of her faux pas?

The House of Windsor has stated, “At no point did the Palace complain to the hospital about the incident. On the contrary, we offered our full and heartfelt support to the nurses involved at all times.” Okay. I believe you. For now.

An official statement from King Edward VII Hospital stopped short of denying that it had reprimanded the nurse by stating, “The hospital had been supporting her (Saldanha) throughout this difficult time.” Again, it beggars belief that Saldanha was not reprimanded in any way.

The truth may, or may not, come out. It may, or may not, be reported.

But here’s an undeniable fact – if there were no royals, there would have been no prank call, and the nurse would still be alive.

The fact that there is a royal family is proof positive that humans are capable of swallowing the most profound and absurd of delusions. The royals actually believe they are better than the rest of us. And the multitudinous, mush-minded monarchists believe it, too (and there’s your opportunity, monarchists, to mumble, “Well, they are certainly a lot better than you, sir,”).

Those of us who see the monarchy for the pathetic and still somewhat dangerous charade that it is, would very much like to see an end to the House of Windsor. We don’t have to go all Robespierre on their heads, but… oh, never mind. If the monarchists want to continue to support the Windsors, let them pay the freight themselves.

Strip the Windsors of their titles, give them begging bowls (if a begging bowl was good enough for the Buddha, it’s good enough for his lessers) and throw them into council estates with the rest of the welfare bums. Use the Internet to inform the world as to what street corners they will be begging on every day, stinking of cider and barking, “You there. I am your KING, God damn it. Gizza few bob.”

But that is not to say that the monarchy must be abolished. Most monarchists worship royalty because they are still trapped in their childhood dreams of being king or queen, prince or princess. So, give them the chance to fulfill those dreams by establishing a royal lottery. King, or Queen, for a month. Profits to the poor.

Better yet, create a game show. Commoners compete to become king and/or queen for a month.

Contestants have to answer questions on royal history. In order to test their creativity and humanity, and to prolong the divine rule nonsense, contestants would also have to tell the host, God himself (played by Johnny Rotten), what they would do to make the world a better place. Viewers vote via text message, with proceeds going to the poor.

The winners of the monthly competitions would then face the reigning monarchs in mortal combat. Those spectacles would generate massive pay-per-view windfalls, again with all proceeds going to the poor.

We have not been raking in much from the colonies of late, but we could start to do so again by allowing their filthy commoners to compete to become king and/or queen of the realm. After all, would it not be poetic justice if Mr. Christian and Miss Grieg were the first to take up residence at Buckingham Palace?

Croydon chief has jouros kicked out of meeting because they may report on him

— Croydon Council chief executive Jon Rouse after journalists were ejected from the West Croydon Community Forum. The Forum voted to throw out the journos after Rouse ‘said he felt “uncomfortable” with their presence’ and ‘it “be a very different meeting” if they remained.’ The meeting, held last Thursday, was about the regeneration of West Croydon.

H/T Omar Oakes

Boris Johnson kills Croydon Tramlink extension for second time

One of the first things Boris Johnson did upon getting elected in 2008 was to scrap the planned extension of the Croydon Tramlink to Crystal Palace, insisting that:

“What we want to do is stop pretending the tooth fairy will come.”

His spokesman explained that there was simply no “magic money” available for the project.

Three years later, and with a close election looming, Boris suddenly found that pot of magic money after all:

“The Mayor of London has vowed to push through the stalled tram extension to Crystal Palace, despite no concrete plans on how to pay for it.”

He even put the scheme in his manifesto, promising to: “Develop a Tramlink extension to Crystal Palace.”

Conservative London Assembly Member Steve O’Connell told the Croydon Guardian that:

“this shows that Croydon is very much one of Boris’s priority areas.”

A priority area! Surely it’s in the Mayor’s new ten year transport plan then?

Er, no

BORIS Johnson has failed to back plans to extend the Tramlink to Crystal Palace [in the TfL business plan] despite including a pledge to do so in his election manifesto. The Mayor of London, who has also twice appeared in the borough posing next to a tram with the words “Crystal Palace” in the destination board, this week stands accused of going back on his word, by failing to deliver on commitments made before and after May’s mayoral vote.

So not such a priority area after all then:

Mr O’Connell said he was disappointed… “I have written to the Mayor expressing my disappointment and have also expressed my disappointment to Peter Hendy publicly at the transport committee.”

So what’s Boris got to say for himself?

“A spokeswoman for The Mayor said: “The Mayor is very much committed to further development of the system…”

Just not in the next ten years.

Tame Impala vs Memory Tapes

New Jersey-based Dayve Hawk aka dreamcore merchant Memory Tapes has dusted this Tame Impala track with his usual sleepy nighttime magic, this time including a mid-song firework display of skronky guitar and amusingly epic rave synths. Nice. Tame Impala’s much admired new album “Lonerism” is out now.

Being called a "renty-something" is the final insult for a generation on its knees

Rosamund Urwin, in a column with the headline Stop the super rich pricing us out of London, raises the terrifying spectre of a sitcom called Rentysomethings. Plot thus: a collection of attractive young professionals entwine themselves in increasingly tortuous sexual relationships against the hilarious backdrop of above-inflation rent rises and unattainable deposits.

Congratulations, renty-somethings. We’re a generation defined not by our cultural output but by our property status. Heady, heady times.

The decline of the car in London is clear. We should embrace it

Earlier this week Adam highlighted the curiosity of the Evening Standard’s campaign on behalf of car drivers and parking spaces in Westminster. He quoted figures showing that just 2% of people who visit central London do so by car, van or lorry.

A new report by Scott Le Vine and Peter Jones on behalf of the RAC Foundation adds some long term context.

Here’s the report’s graph of car traffic trends across the UK.

Car traffic in London (the line at the bottom) has been declining since 1999. The difference with the rest of the country is obvious and striking.

This is the graph for rail journeys.

The large jump in London’s rail journeys in 2006/7 is because journeys made on travelcards were then incorporated into the data for the first time. That aside, we can observe a medium-to-long-term increase in rail use, to go with a medium-to-long-term decrease in car use.

And not just rail. Since 1995, London bus travel has seen a higher rate of growth in miles travelled than any mode of transport anywhere in the country (see p13 of the report). There’s been nothing short of a bus boom.

This is the reality. We should embrace it, and start asking whether rows of parking spaces is the best way to use large areas of the city’s land.

We grab a minute to talk Jane Austen, Alan Partridge, and making people cry with improv comic Rachel Parris

I was drawn to improv theatre because…. you’re creating and performing at the same time, and so no-one, the actors or the audience, will ever see that moment again. That’s where the joy comes from: that assurance of it being totally new, and totally unrepeatable.

The strangest Austentatious suggestion we’ve done yet was… perhaps The Ladyboys of Bangkok. That was the suggestion we got from the audience. The story ended up being really heartfelt! It also featured an erotic dance by Andy. I also enjoyed the suggestion “The Pedestrianisation of Norwich City Centre”. An absolute classic.

The best thing about my job is… the lack of routine – you never know what you’ll be doing the next week or month. It can be the worst thing too!

The most famous person to come to our show was… probably Ian Hislop – he came a few weeks ago and was totally lovely. He bought us all a drink afterwards and had a nice chat! We’ve also had Richard Herring, Reggie Watts, all people we are fans of, so that’s nice.

My favourite experiences with Austentatious… when you are in the middle of doing what you know is a really good show, and you can all tell, and you glance around at each other from the wings when you’re right in the middle of it, and you can all feel this buzz, and you don’t know what is going to happen, but you feel sure it’ll be great. It’s the best feeling, the excitement you get mid-show.

What I want most in the world is… to be proud of what I do. And diamonds.

Home to me is… my cold, tiny flat in Stockwell. I definitely feel most at home in South London now, but at Christmas, home is in Leicester with my family.

When it comes to head vs heart I am… usually heart. It helps with acting, less so with the bank manager.

What I really want to do next is… a gritty acting role! I’ve been doing comedy for 3 years – I want to make someone cry!

Boris Johnson to break promise to "bear down" on fares

Boris Johnson will continue to raise fares above inflation despite promising to “bear down” on the cost of public transport, it emerged today.

Before the election Boris promised that he would “bear down on fares” and insisted that under him they would “go down in an honest and sustainable way.”

TfL’s new draft business plan assumes that fares will actually continue to rise 1% above inflation year on year.

TfL expect to make an extra £500 million a year in fares income by 2015.

According to TFL:

“fares will increase at RPI plus one per cent each January for the period to 2014/15 over which TfL has a funding settlement with Government.”

They insist that final decisions on fare levels remain with the mayor. So far he has raised fares above inflation every year that he has been in office.