Annoying habits of Londoners #5: Moaning about the sex after a one night stand

Mike Pollitt | Friday 16 March, 2012 15:04

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Having a one night stand and complaining about the sex is like ordering a Big Mac and complaining about the calories. Like the sex itself, it rather misses the point.

And yet it’s a complaint you often hear, in the coffee shops and pubs where singles and their envious partnered friends gather at the weekend to analyse the adventures of the night before.

“It was too quick, it was too slow. It was too active, it wasn’t active enough. They were too hairy, they were too sweaty. Their genitals were in some respect just not quite ideal.”

Stop all this, now. It just won’t do.

People don’t have one night stands for the orgasms. They have them to feel attractive, to improve their self-esteem, and to avoid having to get three nightbuses home. Sex, in the end, is the last thing the sex is about.

I generalise here of course, but it’s the internet. You can’t stop me.

In summary, have all the one night stands you want, singletons. Just don’t moan about them afterwards. If it’s good sex you want, you’re looking in the wrong place.

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