Dead fish in London's river Lea caused by pollution after a storm

Artists impression of a fatberg on the 4th plinth

London home owners, private renters and social renters 1961-2011

Lilo Evans and Tristan Stocks in the Mikado

Chart showing how Londoners get to work across inner and outer London

Chart showing how Londoners get to work by mode, 2011 data

Chart showing how the way Londoners get to work is changing over time

Map of empty homes or second homes in London

London borough population changes 2011-2012

Map of red kite sightings in London, May 2014

Artists impression of the "Teardrop", as seen from Ridley Rd, Dalston

Poster against Chatsworth Rd market in London

Tim Cresswell's poetry collection Soil, published by Penned in the Margins

Annoying habits of Londoners #8: Keeping spreadsheets of their dates

Last week a New York banker was put in the internet stocks after it was revealed that he kept an Excel spreadsheet of all his Match.com dates, complete with scores out of 10 for “online appearance”.

You can see a screengrab of the offending document here.

I have some shocking news. What young spreadsheet operators do in New York, they also do in London.

I know a man (it’s surely always heterosexual men) who keeps a spreadsheet of different “date circuits”.

There’s the Embankment evening circuit: South Bank book stall -> walk across Hungerford Bridge -> Gordon’s Wine Bar.

There’s the Regent’s Street weekend daytime circuit: Look at the toys in Hamleys (really) -> food at Mother Mash -> cocktail I forget where.

There’s the East London after work circuit: pint -> bagel -> drinks on Redchurch St.

The spreadsheet contains every possible permutation that the location, the time, and the date herself could demand.

And this man is not alone. Another man of my distant acquaintance has a favoured spot on the Thames shoreline near the South Bank where he habitually hides a bottle of wine and two glasses before meeting his date, so that they can “stumble upon” them later at a choreographed moment.

The stated purpose of these plans is to impress the girl. The real purpose is more to do with outcompeting the other boys. The girl is a prop in a much bigger play, the play of who has the biggest dick.

It goes without saying that anyone who’s got as far as keeping a spreadsheet or having hidey holes on the riverside has had a lot of practice. As a rule of thumb, the more polished the date seems, the more times it’s been performed. With dating, competence is actually a sign of repeated failure. It’s the incompetent ones who you really want to nab.

New York Magazine – New York Banker Keeps Creepily Detailed Spreadsheet for Online Dating
ABC News – New York Man’s Meticulous Dating Spreadsheet Goes Viral
Image – Marcio Cabral de Moura on Flickr under Creative Commons

Follow Mike
Twitter: @MikPollitt
Email: michael.pollitt@snipelondon.com

23 Apr 2012

Londoners are followers not leaders in music taste, says reputable study

Two academics in Dublin compared Last FM listening habits in various cities. You know how Londoners are really cool and happening and listen to all the cool new music first? Well you don’t.

Conrad Lee and Pádraig Cunningham’s paper (PDF) looked at different cities and analysed where Last FM subscribers were listening to new music first. They say:

“London’s unremarkable position is…noteworthy”.

So as a city our musical taste is not cool and current, it’s “unremarkable”. Hurts, doesn’t it?

The image above, for Indie music, shows this admirably. In simple terms, the higher up the city and and the bigger the orange circle next to it, the earlier Last FM listerners there are listening to new tracks.

Conrad Lee, not being a journalist, has helpfully set out some headline-unfriendly caveats:

1: It’s all based on Last.fm data
2: We haven’t yet shown our model of flow to be predictive
3: We just indicate which cities are ahead, we don’t know why (leaders may not be ‘influencers’)

But he agreed over email that “the results show London is not the musical trendsetter we might have expected.”

So there you have it. You people need to raise your game.

Conrad Lee and Pádraig Cunningham (PDF) – The Geographic Flow of Music
Conrad Lee – blog post explaining the results and offering some caveats
Technology Review – Network Science Reveals The Cities That Lead The World’s Music Listening Habits
Image – Courtesy of the authors

20 Apr 2012

This chart shows Ken Livingstone's big problem

The longer the campaign goes on, the fewer people want to vote for him.

Once the also rans are eliminated and second preferences reassigned, the three most recent polls by any organisation show Livingstone trailing Johnson 53-47.

If Livingstone keeps turning voters off over time, it’s hard to see those numbers shifting in his direction.

Summaries of all the relevant polls, and links to the data itself, can be found at UK Polling Report.

20 Apr 2012

Cyclists respond to the Addison Lee chairman's "get trained and pay up" rant

John Griffin, chairman of the minicab firm, had this to say in the company magazine:

“The rest of us occupying this roadspace have had to undergo extensive training. We are sitting inside a protected space with impact bars and air bags and paying extortionate amounts of taxes on our vehicle purchase, parking, servicing, insurance and road tax. It is time for us to say to cyclists, ‘You want to join our gang, get trained and pay up’.”

Gaz at The Croydon Cyclist is blunt:

“He started this week off by whining on TV that his minicabs are being treated unfairly because they aren’t allowed to use the bus lanes. By the end of the week he has stated that it isn’t the drivers fault if an inexperienced cyclist gets in their way. John Griffin is a child”.

Simon MacMichael at Road.cc wants a boycott:

“Earlier this week, the company used its Twitter feed to proclaim proudly that its account customers had overwhelmingly backed its unilateral decision to illegally use London’s bus lanes; we wonder whether all of his customers will endorse his views on cycling, and those who have died while riding their bikes, once they learn of them? We also wonder whether any of them might take their business elsewhere?”

Cyclists in the City demolishes Griffin’s argument:

“He seems to be hinting that motorists should have no obligation to slow down or pay attention to what happens around them as far people on bikes (or pedestrians, one assumes?) are concerned because they may be new cyclists and they may not be trained and they may not have paid for a motor vehicle or for (non-existant) “road tax”. He is suggesting people should not have rights to cycle on public roads until they become ‘one of us’ – fully trained and paid up.”

And there are already plans for a die-in outside the firm’s offices next Monday.

It’s a cliche to say that someone “thinks they own the road”. But Mr Griffin appears to think that motorists do, and that cyclists don’t have equal rights on a public road. It’s an untenable stance.

UPDATE: Ross Lydall has spoken to Mr Griffin, and you can read his full response here. A sample:

“I think cyclists are not properly trained. The facts are that somebody who has never ridden a bike in their life can go out and hurl themselves into one of the busiest capitals in the world. That is irresponsible.”

The Croydon Cyclist – Addison Lee is a joke
Road.cc – Addison Lee chairman provokes controversy with his views on London cyclist deaths
Cyclists in the City – If AddisonLee wasn’t worrying you before, it will be once you’ve read this.
Facebook event – Addison Lee die-in
Ross Lydall at The Standard – Minicab boss: my plan to tackle ‘holier than thou, gung-ho cyclists’

20 Apr 2012

What the media are saying about "media blackout" victim Siobhan Benita

Here are some excerpts from that media blackout.

“Finally she arrived and, while I won’t say that the media swooned, she certainly had an impact. Tall, glossy-haired, elegant in a pencil dress with scarlet jacket, and a diamond wedding ring that would make an American rapper envious, she’d stand out in any room. She spoke to the TV crews with confidence and panache. “She’s camera-ready!” said an admiring woman reporter, which made her sound like an oven-ready chicken. Her posters show her gazing inspirationally into the distance, a cross between a fashion model and Che Guevara.”

Simon Hoggart – Siobhan Benita: a star is born? in The Guardian.

“She would like to give young people a bigger role in the way London is governed and says that, if elected, she would give up a chunk of the £143,000 salary (“£100,000 is enough for anyone to earn”) and use it to pay a young mayor, aged between 18 and 25, to work alongside her.”

Joanna Moorhead – Siobhan Benita: The mum who would be mayor in The Guardian.

“Benita is used to success. The 40-year-old mother of two cites her first ever driving test as an example of when she last failed, and she didn’t have many setbacks in her high flying career in the civil service. So why, then, has she given it all up to to run as an independent candidate for the Mayor of London? It’s all about “trying to provide something different.”

Dina Rickman – Siobhan Benita – A London Mayoral Candidate Who’s Making Waves at Huff Post UK.

“Ms Benita, 40, now has a support staff of 20 full-time volunteers, and is getting noticed and written about by the political commentariat. In the ultimate accolade some are even beginning to attack her.”

Oliver Wright – No money, no staff, no chance – but independent mayoral candidate Siobhan Benita is getting London excited in the Independent

…Siobhan Benita, has many attractive qualities, but I read her pitch and am suspicious. She writes on her website: “I am not a party politician and won’t waste my time – or yours – fighting tired political battles….What does she mean by “tired political battles”? Democratic politics depend on the resolution of differences through political battles rather than the military alternative. It is too easy to claim that they can be transcended with the wave of a charming wand.”

Steve Richards – The false allure of mavericks like Siobhan Benita and George Galloway in the Independent

“I object to the note of entitlement which runs through her candidacy. Whatever Benita may think, you are not entitled to broadcast airtime and space in national newspapers simply by hiring a PR and printing glossy leaflets. You need either a track record, or genuinely distinctive ideas. Benita has neither.”

Andrew Gilligan – Siobhan Benita: Whitehall’s candidate for mayor

“Siobhan is …the dark horse coming up on the rails at a time when anything is possible. She has been described as the Borgen candidate, after the Danish TV series in which a little-known outsider takes on the political establishment and wins.
The choice is ours on May 3: a romantic insurgency or a return of the retreads? I know which has my vote.”

Martin Bell – New Mayors? It’s like the return of the living dead: Martin Bell on the political ghosts who want to run YOUR city in the Mail

And here’s a link to her BBC London interview, which is streaming online.

I quite like Siobhan Benita as a candidate. Her support for the 3rd runway at Heathrow, to take one issue, is brave, distinctive and correct. But as Adam has written, her coverage so far has been generous in both extent and tone. Some of the above is critical, most is fawning. But you can’t deny that there’s enough there for you to make up your minds.

She and her team should keep campaigning, but stop complaining. She’s getting a fair hearing, it’s time to make the most of it.

19 Apr 2012

The O2 should have been renamed the Millennium Dome for the Olympics

The decision to call the O2 the “North Greenwich Arena” for the duration of the Olympics was made a long time ago. Since the Olympics are primarily a vehicle for brands to advertise (jaded, me?!), and since BT is one of those brands, this decision was inevitable.

But really. North Greenwich Arena? What the hell is that about. No-one knows what it is, so you have the BBC publishing ludicrous, self-defeating sentences like this:

The BBC has also learned that the million tickets released in April will include 50,000 tickets for basketball sessions at the Olympic Park and the North Greenwich Arena (O2).

It could have been different. It could have been beautiful. It could have been the triumphant return of the Millennium Dome.

It was savaged once, but time heals all wounds. The stage could have been set for a glorious, Take That style return. But something more than a return: a redemption.

“I’m going to watch Olympic gymnastics at the Millennium Dome” could have been the tribune call for a moment of national catharsis, a chance for the structure which failed us once to finally redeem itself before a merciful and forgiving populace.

But alas, this deliverance shall not come to pass. A 2009 story from Event Magazine provides some background:

“LOCOG said it was looking at a marketing strategy to combat any confusion, but use of the venue’s former name, the Millennium Dome, was unlikely, because AEG does not like the negative ‘white elephant’ status associated with the moniker.”

And so North Greenwich Arena (O2) is all we shall have. And the Dome, ever unloved, has lost its only chance to make amends.

BBC – London 2012: 40,000 tickets to be released for athletics
Event Magazine – BT 2012 Olympics sponsorship forces O2 Arena to rebrand

Image: Tiago A. Pereira on Flickr under Creative Commons licence

19 Apr 2012

Museum of London asks: was Charles Dickens full of crap?

I paraphrase. Their language is more restrained.

“Taking these images into consideration, do you think the portrayal of Victorian London by Dickens and his contemporaries was realistic?”

I do like a blog post that ends with an essay question. The Museum of London peeps have come up with a nice one here to promote an event next week in which renowned establishment figure Iain Sinclair, among others, will interrogate Dickens and no doubt decide he was an unreliable good for nothing who was making it all up anyway.

Or perhaps not, you’ll have to go along to find out.

The pictures selected on the blog are fascinating. It’s almost impossible to look at images or read stories of Victorian life without romanticising the period, but that impulse should be resisted. For the vast majority of people, surely, life was much like Dennis Wise – dirty, hard and short.

Tickets for the event, on Wed 25 April at 1900, are available here from £6. I’m going, so if you come along Tweet me up.

Image: Copyright Museum of London, used with permission

18 Apr 2012

Annoying habits of Londoners #7: working in a coffee shop

Two types of people sit in front of laptops in coffee shops. Those who are there to work, and those who are there to pretend that they are working.

The first group can be recognised by their smart clothing, their determined mien, their choice of coffee (like their souls – small and black), and the fact that they are in and out within an hour. These people are productive, successful, and gainfully employed. The coffee shop is to them a caffeine pit stop on the way to or from some more formal professional appointment. They favour the mass market, impersonal efficiency of Starbucks or Costa. The coffee is fuel in a well-greased machine.

The second group, by contrast…the second group are an altogether lamentable class. Freelancers, semi-freelancers, pseudo-freelancers and working-for-free lancers. Students, dreamers, wasters and pet-projecters. A procrastination of idlers, pretending to toil.

They drink all manner of outré concoctions, the complexity of which are inversely proportional to the amount of work they manage to get done. For you cannot tell me that someone who orders a large cappuccino with flavoured syrup and chocolate topping is about to make serious progress with anything.

These ne’er-do-wells frequent a different sort of place. For them, distraction is not a danger, it’s a secret desire. Hence the decor must be interesting, the clientele varied, the music novel. I’ve seen coffee places in Dalston with a DJ playing at 1 o’clock in the afternoon, for christsakes. On a Tuesday. And people were sitting round pretending to work.

Work they weren’t! I should know, because I wasn’t either.

Image – Stebbi póstur on Flickr under Creative Commons

Follow Mike
Twitter: @MikPollitt
Email: michael.pollitt@snipelondon.com

17 Apr 2012

According to Shoreditch, it's now cool to be a flag-waving monarchist

The Diamond Jubilee on June 3rd draws near, and a press release arrives from The Book Club, one of the busier Shoreditch hangouts.

“Bunting, beer, baking, bowler hats and brass bands. It can only mean one thing – The Book Club’s Diamond Jubilee Street Party is coming to Shoreditch and it’s time to party like its [sic] 1952!”

The event is then described as “affectionate, irreverent, patriotic and very cool”.

Now I grant that “alcohol shop uses public holiday to sell more alcohol” won’t raise many eyebrows.

But it’s another nail in the coffin of Shoreditch’s counter-culture credentials.

After all, the The Book Club is just giving young East Londonites what they want (a party), with the framing they think will be most attractive to them (unironic monarchism).

Republicans must despair, and well they might. If even these kids are choosing to get pissed in honour of Queen and country, then the future of the cause already seems lost.

The Book Club’s Facebook page

16 Apr 2012

New report reveals why the global 1% love to live in London

Rich people’s estate agency Knight Frank and rich people’s bank Citi Private Bank have put out a report into what HNWI (High Net Worth Individuals, or “rich people”) think of different cities across the globe.

“We asked respondents to rank the most important global and regional cities to HNWIs now and in 10 years, and to pinpoint those growing most quickly in importance. We also asked them to rank cities in terms of economic activity, political power, quality of life, and knowledge and influence. London took the pole position in almost every category.”

Here are rich people’s top 10 cities.

1 London
2 New York
3 Hong Kong
4 Paris
5 Singapore
6 Miami
7 Geneva
8 Shanghai
9 Beijing
10 Berlin

The global 1% love London! This can only be good news, right? Right?

Here’s the PDF report in full.

Via Atlantic Cities

12 Apr 2012

London Weather

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mist

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